The Fight to Fabulous

inspiration

2011-12-05T21:23:00.004-04:00

Sometimes you need a little pick me up - or kick in the butt - and there's no better thing for that than blogs and tumblrs. Friends go home, gym trainers and psychologists have appointment times but the interwebs are four-eh-vah!

That said:

BODY from www.diamantenegro.tumblr.com

http://x-uvicgirl91-x.tumblr.com/ Inspiration for getting up, getting out and doing something. There's no reason why can't be the best you can be.

http://blackfitness.tumblr.com/ The name says it all!

MIND & SPIRIT from www.leilockheart.tumblr.com

http://jenteel.blogspot.com/ I followed Jenteel's hair fotki(natural hair like woah) and found her spirit-focused blog was just as useful:)

http://leilockheart.tumblr.com/ Really, really pretty pictures - of everything!

special

2011-12-05T21:10:00.003-04:00

As a person of African origin, have you ever thought about how beautiful and unique we are? Who else has our hair texture? What other race boasts such a variety of skin tones and features? What other people can boast people who look half their age! I'm just saying;) Now, usually, when we see someone who is outstanding and gets hated on, what is that called? Jealousy. Study it. Now, go talk amongst yourselves:)
image

Happy Thoughts

2011-11-10T21:32:00.003-04:00

(Breathe Easy by Dawn Okoro) The mind is a powerful thing. As a tool, it should not be underestimated; and just as we train our bodies to play sports, wake up on time for work and watch it morph as it caters to motherhood, we can and should do the same with our minds.

I watched part of series last night, discovery channel, that was called 'The Science of Lust' (the episode is accessible on youtube). It was fascinating to watch how simple cues made persons more likely to make choices or react in particular ways.

This led me to think about how our behaviour - and moods - are affected in similar ways. Think about it - you break up with someone and you start listening to Barry Manilow, or fill your playlist with man/woman bashing/I never wanted you anyways tunes. But all those songs do is send messages and remind you of the loss and regret.

Recently I've been struggling with demons past - or ones I thought had past - and I remembered that what you imbibe is what you become. So while your loneliness may lead to you reading romance novels or spending the evening with an *ahem* erotic movie, that just feeds on your existing emotion, making it worse.

Instead, try to surround yourself with positive people, events and media. For example, my playlist for the gym included songs like 'Sex Room' by Ludacris (love Luda, and that song) but obviously I don't need sex on the brain when I'm single, that's just adding injury to insult. So, I've taken to modifying my playlist to offer a healthier 'diet' of music that makes me happy:

Golden - Jill Scott
Superstar - Lupe Fiasco
Rock DJ - Robbie Williams
Black and Gold - Sam Sparro
Loca - Shakira
Dance Tonight - Lucy Pearl

and I throw a little soca in the mix, to keep it even more lively;)

We all need reminders of where we want to be, so we don't pine for where we were. We often forget that the past is just that, and with reason. Focusing on the future, especially for women, is an important part of growing and waiting for what you really want. Soak your soul in positivity - the music/movies you listen to and watch, the people you associate with and the thoughts you encourage.

Rom-Coms...the Chocolate Edition

2011-08-21T21:15:00.004-03:00

I love Rom Coms (romantic comedies) as much as the next lady - the boy meets girl inevitably gives us false hope, but hope none the less;) However, the Rom Coms I love the most are the ones which feature folks who remind me of, well me. Of course most of us know about the usual suspects - The Wood, Two Can Play that Game, anything by Tyler Perry:) - but there are some lesser known (at least by moi) pieces, plays to be precise, that definitely do it for me when I wanna take my viewing to chocolate city. Consider:

Love in the Nick of Tyme (a play by David E. Talbert, with Morris Chestnut...yessiree)

Whatever She Wants (a play featuring Vivica Fox and Boris Kodjoe, thoroughly entertaining)

Mr. Right Now (another David E. Talbert stage play that introduced some unfamiliar/less seen faces)

Now, bear in mind, these pieces are purely for entertainment purposes. If you're the type to look too deep into acting capabilities/script/underlying messages that undermine the black movement - these aren't for you. However, if you want something light to go along with your night at home, freshly showered, in your jammies with yummy snacks, these are perfect-enjoy;)

Beauty - makeup

2011-06-13T22:04:00.005-03:00

I suck at makeup application. I always want a speedy process which is not conducive to the results I desire. Not only that, I'm definitely a novice when it comes to the names and purposes of the brushes - enter The Fancy Face.

Simply put, Fancy Face is to makeup what Polish or Perish is to nail polish - the full nine yards. Again, a full breakdown of brands, makeup types and new collections are all featured on the extensive blog, which also gives detailed tutorials on how to achieve her looks du jour. She even offers tips for beginners who need a starting point on skin type and suitable makeup options.

Tutorials and articles and a product vault are some of the major focus points of Makeup Geek. They're lots of 'how-tos', with full colour photos and they're videos as well, which Fancy Face also has.

Beauty - nail polish

2011-06-13T21:52:00.004-03:00

I did an earlier list of enlightening hair sites for black women interested in remembering what their hair really looks like;) Now, focusing a bit on a different kind of aesthetic:

The mother of all nail polish blogs, Polish or Perish is the epitome of blogger dedication. Every colour and texture imaginable is featured on this site which delves into everything nail polish related, from how many coats you'll need from a particular brand to the difference between matte and jelly finishes - I didn't even knew jelly finishes existed before I visited this site!

Another interesting presence in the blog world of nails is Dr. Frankenpolish who, while she hasn't posted recently, certainly has posted enough of her concoctions to keep you oohing and aahing for a while:)

I love lists/purpose of 'The Fight to Fabulous'

2011-06-13T12:43:00.003-03:00

I really do. I'm always making notes for groceries, how I'd like to decorate a room, stuff I need from the hardware store, how I'd like to expand my wardrobe - I love 'em! That's why, when I realized how far apart my blogs of interest were, I considered creating a blog about blogs, which will be the prime focus for 'The Fight to Fabulous'. It's sometimes very difficult to find the info you want on particular topics and google can be very unfriendly at times. So, I'll be posting some of my favourite sites for clothing, fashion, beauty, hair and deep thoughts:)

Just Like Music

2011-03-03T22:58:00.004-04:00

*sidenote: Most digital cameras have timers. This means we no longer have to take pictures with arms looking unnaturally long and extended. Use the timers, people:)*

This random thought brought to you by Cee Lo:
n.b. I'm not the groupie type, but I have an unhealthy appreciation for that man.

Cee Lo Green - Bodies VIDEO directed by Mikael Colombu
Uploaded by forgivers. - Music videos, artist interviews, concerts and more.
The wine is white and the lights are dim
They warned you don't go home with him
Cause he have two feet that'll dance again
(I know, but will I ever get the chance again)
I've been held in contempt for an incident
But it takes two to be intimate
So by no means was she innocent
(Well it wasn't a crime if I didn't witness it)

They said that chivalry is dead
Then why is her body in my bed
At sunrise, the morning paper's read
They found a body in my bed
Ahhh

Can nonchalant be obvious of course
I leaned towards her and whispered the choice is yours
Need I remind you that I'll have no remorse
(I understand)
Here's a kiss sweetheart this won't hurt a bit
I can kill it with kindness or murder it
Then I'll face the time a murderer gets
(Or get away with it)
Life

They said that chivalry is dead
Then why is her body in my bed
At sunrise, the morning paper's read
They found a body in my bed yes
Ahhh

May I?
(Yes)
It's okay baby
Let me touch you
(Okay)
You taste so good...

black hair blogs

2011-03-03T21:30:00.013-04:00

yagazie wonderful images, many from Africa, wonderful sense of humour and self:)

Naturally Obsessed fashion, hair, and featured naturals, she covers alot of ground!

Natural Hair Rules yes it does!

photographer, artist, badass - Loany G

she loves Louboutins, that's all that matters:) oh and she and her sister have lovely natural hair! - ShatterProofGlassDolls

for those who think natural hair won't 'suit' you;) - BlackWomenNaturalHairstyles

31 Day Reset Challenge - are you in?

2011-03-03T20:47:00.006-04:00

I recently came across a post on Glamazini.com that mentioned a month-long challenge that helps you take stock of your life, what's good and what's got to go. I've started it and I'm already noticing changes - the first day's task requires you to choose a mantra. Mine is simply I am worth it. Negative thought has always been an enemy of mine and unfortunately, many people are living proof that so as a man thinketh, so he shall be. I'm trying to speak positivity into my space and fight the deprecating, self-loathing, depressing thoughts. I'm starting day 3's challenge tonight, so I can catch up (I began yesterday) and it asks you to list your values.

Day 3's challenge is especially important because, as I begin to analyze my behaviour, I realize my wants and desires do not coincide with my current actions. I'll explain - I want a healthier body and yet don't stick to my promise of leaving salty snacks alone (you can keep the sugar, but you see potato chips/crisps - OH EM GEE!), or I decide I'll work out regularly but then just go home to bed when I should be sweating it out...or I say I want a particular kind of man in my life, but then let loneliness or self doubt or lust take over and I start making excuses for a foolish choice? Uhyeah.

That said, I am taking this challenge very, very seriously. I'll be 30 in 2012 and I'll be damned if I take the bad practices from the past few years into a new decade of life. We're given opportunities in a world full of possibilities and these are limited more by self and circumstance. Step up to the plate and take the challenge. Yes we can.

2011-02-22T23:41:00.004-04:00

image
Why so many frogs? How many do I have to kiss?
I don't expect a prince but
why so many amphibians?
To go through the wash and repeat cycle of hearing
I like you
I'm attracted to you
I'm feeling you
Really?
You don't know me
and the minute I put my foot down and mark my boundaries
suddenly
you're immediately
less attracted...feel me less

Ever feel worn out by the rigmarole of male/female relationships? I am. Some women thrive on compliments and attention, I've grown weary of them because it goes nowhere and it pisses me off when men with no good intentions toward you have the nerve to step to you. They step onto the bidding floor with pennies in their pocket and want to purchase expensive stock. That shit cannot work. And when I say expensive stock I don't mean just money - oh no, women cost time and effort and that's where alot of men fall short. Some think throwing money into a relationship will keep it buoyant - true, it softens the blow at times but any woman, hell any person, worth their salt knows that time and effort are the most costly commodities in any arrangement. They come second only to honesty.

So that guy who says he's interested but then starts backpeddling
the one who wants to make you part of a love quadrangle
or the other dude who wants to have you at every angle
but can't even make the effort on your birthday
I've met them all

When women say they can't find any good men, it's not because we don't think they exist, it's because we're tired hoping. After you've come into contact with so many of the above it starts to make you wonder 'what's wrong with them?' But then, you've got to ask 'what's wrong with me?' Shoutout to Baggage Reclaim who shows you what's wrong with all of us lol. Yeah, some men are, as she describes it, 'unavailable' but you know what I realised? So am I. You cut yourself off from too deep a relationship/emotion/connection and you end up attracting someone who's just like you.

So when he lies about his 'friend'
and you're saying 'not this shit again'
ask yourself why it is that you've got a different dude and yet, have the same man

Some dudes are punks, but at some point, you have to ask yourself, why are all these punks drawn to me? What do they see in me that makes them feel they can get away with this bullshit? Study it.

Sense of Purpose

2011-02-22T23:20:00.006-04:00

Remember the 'You oughta know' Alanis? The angry one who wailed above vicious guitar rifts and sang lyrics like 'go down on you in a theater'? That's the Alanis we all know, love and remember but that hasn't been her for a while. She's been at peace with herself for quite a long time but somehow it's easier for us to identify with, quite simply, pain.

She took a trip to India and many attribute that venture to her having found that peace that so many of us seek. She has completely changed, been rejuvenated and to some extent, reborn. Wouldn't it be wonderful to be able to locate and exorcise, extract or siphon off the pain, anger and negative emotion that hampers our true selves?

Today, I did a quiz to identify my dosha (was reading about ayurvedic hair care on www.curlynikki.com and it led me there), which highlights personality type. I was Pitta, and it stated that when in balance, a Pitta is warm, intelligent, a good leader; when out of balance, it is critical, irritable, agressive. Unfortunately, I currently reside on the latter end of the Pitta spectrum.

I know that I need to pray and meditate to get where I need to be, but laziness and fear are often hindrances to becoming the best we can be. I believe in Jesus, I believe we have been created with purpose and I need Him to speak directly to me to tell me where I need to be. But how can He be heard if I'm never in a place to listen? I've been reading Jenteel's blog lately, as well, and know that much can be achieved through just sitting still. In a world that distracts us with pretty, shiny things, the devil knows just how to keep you away from true happiness and fulfillment. He places 'things' in your path...and people. All these diversions keep you away from your true destination, your true North.

I am seeking my true North and pray for the strength to pray, to seek, to find.

damn it, he has a point...but so do I

2011-02-06T22:04:00.008-04:00

When I saw this article from Steve Harvey, promoting his second book on relationships Straight Talk, No Chaser: How to find, Keep and Understand a Man, my first thought was damn, he is REALLY pimping the fact that alot of women out there are alone and don't want to be and want a 'cure'.

Having read the list of concepts women need to work on - long list of expectations, think all the good men are gone, think men are intimidated by you, never seem to meet men, no time to date - yes, these points are valid but they're not new, and to some extent, aren't true. Take for example the intimidation bit - he says women use it as an excuse. Well guess what? Men do to. The same way women eliminate a man from moving onto the next round by lack of education/type of job/ type of home & car, etc., i.e. inconsequential things, some men decide if a woman has an 'education' he won't even bother stepping to her, won't even try. Why? Too. Much. 'Work'. They assume that because you did some extra schooling, they'll have to 'work too hard'. That's a BIG assumption, and it also makes you wonder how they view the women who may not have gone to college - so they're easier to handle because they don't have a piece of paper after four years? Really?

Men no longer want a challenge, they want an easy target, EVEN if it means not choosing a woman that's a better match - considering the vast pool of available females, making an effort is no longer deemed worth the effort.

Then there's the long list of expectations...*le sigh*. I know, sometimes we over do it on this bit. However, why are WE always being told to lower/reduce our expectations? Why aren't men ever told to raise THEIR standards? If I had a dollar for every time I've been told that my standards are too high or that I expect too much, I'd be living in a McMansion. Seriously, what is up with all the articles - on yahoo, msn, every frigging women's magazine - telling us what to do to FIND a man, KEEP a man, UNDERSTAND a man. What the fuck. Seriously. Doesn't this seem just a *bit* one sided? I think Harvey is judging the available men by the standard he sets, and whilst there are alot of males, there aren't that many *men*.

I don't get this modern world. I want a man to pursue me, MAINTAIN his interest in me and the relationship, be forthright, call me on my bullshit and know his role. There are my five standards, Steve. Now you try to find a dude that matches that, and see how easy it is for you to bloody find a man who is consistent, of integrity and genuinely wants my flavour - mouthy, intimidating, passionate and all!

*gets off soap box, drops mic and walks away*

Everything is Relative

2011-01-28T23:29:00.005-04:00

I read this article about a reknowned violinist who took to the Washington D.C. Metro to determine if anyone would take note of his globally-sought talent (and very expensive violin).

Very few people did. If nothing else this teaches, once again, that value is relative. People probably pay hundreds of dollars to hear him play and yet, those who heard him for free that morning in L'Enfant Plaza station could not have cared less. Much can be said when this framework is applied to everyday life. Do people value you more or less than you value yourself? How do you determine your own value? What do you do when you think you're not getting what you're worth? Things to ponder.

It's Alive! R&B, that is:)

2011-01-28T22:30:00.007-04:00

Jaheim is slept on. Doth this not confirm his greatness? I always knew I liked his music but damn, he has so much great music! And his latest album, Another Round is so worth a listen. This track is the epitome of what goes on in a relationship - the lady talks bad about her man because she's mad but when it's four feet under the covers, it's a completely different story, take a listen...;)

New Year, New ___________ ?

2011-01-28T22:17:00.004-04:00

Where did January go? If we aren't living in Revelations, I don't know what this is, because you KNOW times are crazy when people want time to slow down. I don't know where this week went and I can say the same for this month. Honestly, I feel out of control of life right now - Jesus, take the wheel.

We always make grand plans for the new year, but do you know what I'd like to be new for 2011? Me. Better body and definitely better frame of mind. My mind SUCKS right now. I was reading a post on Baggage Reclaim (shout out to the ladies!), a quiz really, to determine if you're ready to date again; and I am clearly not. Out of the 9 questions I should've said yes to, I said no to 5 - not a good look. Yeah, I'm over the previous guy but the issue now is working on my mental state. I don't believe a relationship is anywhere in the future for me. It hasn't come and I honestly don't think it will. Add that to the fact that I trust no one - it's as bad as X Files - and you can see where issues would arise. I hadn't realized it was so bad until I really started listening to myself. But I can't stop. Because it's easier to deal with the agony of feeling like you'll never have what you want, than dealing with opening yourself up and getting it wrong. True Story.

It's actually quite disturbing. Hell, I disturb myself! I get so wound up when things don't go the way I imagined them/hoped they would go and then the next day, I'm fine, like it never happened. Some people would take a pill, I'm going to take some prayer. Again, I say, JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL. And put a husband in the backseat with me, damnit!

Oh My God

2010-11-11T23:33:00.010-04:00

God is so awesome, I want to burst into song; in fact, I regulary do. I was just sitting here, reading the Can I Get a Witness blog and all I can say is I needed to read it. If you're 'going through', you should too. In one of her writings, she mentioned feeling like a weight was lifted when a relationship ended and, my God, that's exactly how I feel. I literally just started repeating "I am free, I am free" and crying because I knew I had been imprisoned. My emotions and desires held me captive. I had been captured by someone who thought me too worthy and thus treated me like I was unworthy; someone who never thought that I would choose as I had and therefore behaved like I was less than the Chosen One. Man, when the veil falls from your eyes...you could always see through it, mind you, but when that sheild is lifted, the revelation is...indescribable.

Two years. It took me two years to get here and I pray to GOD that He keeps me marching on. The freedom, it is so beautiful to be in freedom, my God, no more stress or worries and uncertainty. Who the Son sets free...

The Magic Is There

2010-09-25T00:33:00.007-03:00

We aren't good at farewells. It's always difficult, whether your favourite perfume is discontinued or a marriage of decades ceases to be; but goodbyes are necessary. Sometimes they're the difference between life and death, at other times, it determines stagnancy or growth...Ironically, I'm good at goodbyes. I can see when they're necessary and my instincts kick into self preservation mode. Oh best believe it still hurts to the core and hurts for a very, very, very long time; but you need to focus on what the pain will produce, which is, hopefully, a happier future. One song I've found that hits the nail on the head, where this theme is concerned is by a country singer (gotta give them props for story telling), Daniel O'Donnell. The song is 'Magic Is There'. The lyrics are some of the deepest I've ever heard. Take a listen and enjoy.

Blog lovin'

2010-09-09T20:47:00.006-03:00

I love to read and learn and the internet is a bottomless resource pool which feeds this unending desire. Poetic, non? Here's what I've been reading recently:

Cat & Girl, anything but your average bande dessinée.

Then there's In Over Your Head which, in short, addresses how you see life. Sounds simple, but the content is fascinating.

It's ironic that I find out about the best blogs by...well, word of blog - i.e. links that blogs I like like! Life imitates web.

hip hop isn't dead, it's in the Atmosphere;)

2010-08-22T03:40:00.006-03:00

Just discovered the artist Atmosphere via the blog Phantasmagoria. This group is...just take a listen:

They've been around since '93, hail from Min-ne-soooo-ta, boast 9 albums and are described as one of the most commercially successful independent hip hop artists.

When I 'discover' music like this, it gives me a high. To encounter this level of awesomeness in the era of the idolization of Lil Wayne rejuvenates my faith in mankind and music. I leave you with a kind word which is also the title of one of Atmosphere's album's - When life gives you lemons, You paint that shit gold! - and to all, a good night:)

JAZMINE SULLIVAN

2010-08-20T22:29:00.005-03:00

I know I'm slow, but I just discovered this today:

I love this song, it is sincere and so true. Why didn't anyone tell me about this? Unless...they're others who don't know! She does have new music out though:

Fantasia, Jazmine, Jennifer Hudson...I must say some years ago I feared the death of R&B and wondered what its fate would be after the greats (Chaka, Gladys, Aretha, Patti, et al) passed on. Now I see there's nothing to fear. LOL - Viva las Divas!

FANTASIA

2010-08-20T22:07:00.006-03:00

Okay this woman is phenomenal and her album deserves that adjective as well. Back To Me is art, pure and simple. The beats, rhythms - LYRICS, MY GOD, LYRICS THAT MAKE SENSE! Hip hop may be dead, but R&B has been resurrected in the 10th year of the millenium...or is it 11th? I digress. Check this joint out:

And when you've listened to that a couple times, listen to Thrill is Gone (featuring Cee Lo), I'm Done (a woman's anthem, I swear!) mercy....Lyrics you won't be afraid to wail in traffic. This album has pure raw feeling - because the artist delivering the song is raw and true too. Case in point.

I haven't bought an album in a long, long time. I may not even recognize a CD if it rolled up on me with a flash drive. But Back To Me makes me want to buy it - not just download it, no. I want to OWN IT. Stare at every detail of the album art, read the thanks and credits, smell the booklet paper lolol. Truly, support Fantasia, BUY the album. It's been a while since an album was worth the disc it was burned on, this one is.

There goes that bullshit

2010-08-03T11:20:00.011-03:00

I was falling for Usher's song 'There Goes my Baby' - but then I heard the lyrics 'put on my heart, you don't need a ring' *record skip*. Word Urrrsheerrr, wordddd???? That is beyond lame. If you're not about marriage, then say so; but don't try to bullshit with that 'we're-already-so-close-we-can't-get-any-closer' jazz. In 2010, come again.

The video leaves alot to be desired for me as well - the woman he chose doesn't ooze the sexy he alludes to in the song. *Sigh*

When the break ain't broke

2010-07-03T19:40:00.006-03:00

It doesn't matter how many people give you advice, in the end, only you can decide what choice you'll make. From what to have for lunch, to what outfit you should wear out and if you should be into second chances. I've always been an adamant anti-second chance chic but now I'm a living testament to never say never. I can't yet say if it's worth it, if I'll regret it although I realize that preconceptions can taint a relationship just as badly as actual f*** ups. So I'm rolling with the tide, even though you notice that the calls are less, the urgency has been reduced and now, you've settled in, going from the hunted to the attained. I like to say that whilst men are hunters they sure aren't gatherers because after they get you, if they aren't ready, they don't know what to do with the 'meat'.

I found this poetry from Dana Gilmore that talks about this and she's more eloquent than my meat analogy lol, check her out:

Artist - Lina/Commoners & Kings/Poetic Jones

2010-02-20T18:41:00.005-04:00

Why don't we know/hear more about Lina? Probably for the same reason we don't know/hear more about most quality artists - most of the world is not concerned with quality. However, for a small pocket of us, this is our kind of music. Here's 'Good Day'.

The first tune I heard from her though was 'Feel the Love', very groovy and soulful:

Then there's Commoners & Kings (Listen to the Woman is like...woah) and Poetic Jones (She Like is just so sweet, the chorus is so simple but it resonates), whose spoken word & music I heard on the indie film 'He's On my Mind' (was quite entertaining, if for nothing else, watch it for the troublesome boy, he is funny!).

Regret...

2010-01-08T10:23:00.005-04:00

Letoya Luckett is definitely coming into her own. This track with Ludacris...mmmmm (have a thing for him, but I digress) is easy pop, almost neo-pop. Yes, I just invented a sub genre. I've found that songs like this are awesome post breakup - Keyshia Cole's 'Let it Go' is a definite favourite, along with Robbie Williams' 'No Regrets' and Pink's 'So What'. However, I find that songs like these have a hint of melancholy, where the words are strong but the tone is still sad and longing. I've also discovered that when you're really over it, you won't even need to sing the songs anymore. True story;)

It's been such a long, long time...;)

2009-12-30T22:10:00.003-04:00

Another year is coming to an end. The fastest year in bloody history is what I think it was. Isn't time a beautiful thing? It separates us from pain, memories, trials...this time last year I was not in a happy place, the hurt consumed me and now? It's all a mere memory - God is so good!

I've been reading alot of new blogs lately, namely:

www.desireedaydreams.blogspot.com
www.untiligetmarried.com
www.getyamindrite.blogspot.com
www.justonesingle.blogspot.com

And what I've gathered - besides serious laughs and eureka moments - is that we all go through pretty much the same thing. Whether it be family/relationship/health related, there is truly nothing new under the sun; but you don't know that when you're going through what you're going through. So my message for the new year, for 2010, is when you're feeling blue, blog it or find a blog that talks about it - you'll feel so much better knowing you're not the only one with the issues you have;) Have a wonderful, blessed New Year - things can only get better;)

Destiny's (other) Child(ren)

2009-08-14T17:47:00.005-03:00

Ok, we all know how it goes with girl and boy bands - there's always a leader who breaks away from the pack and the others fade into oblivion. I'm glad this isn't the case with Destiny's Child. Whereas these two ladies - Kelly Rowland and LeToya Luckett - may not have the mainstream pull of the PutaRingonIt/Diva, they do have talent, and deserve a listen;)

Kelly Rowland - frickin' AMAZING! When I first heard the song on the radio, I made a note to find out who was singing the track. When the announcer said her name, I was in awe - the song gives me goosebumps, honestly. I also love that film she was in, The Seat Filler, lol funny & très cute!

but, back to the matter at hand - When love takes over - David Guetta f/ Kelly Rowland

then there's Ms. LeToya Luckett, who's also doing her singing thang, really like this one - Not Anymore

LeToya Luckett - Not Anymore [New]
Uploaded by Yannicklord. - Watch more music videos, in HD!

Her 2nd album 'Lady Love' comes out August 29th;)

Say it with a card...Part Deux:)

2009-08-13T14:37:00.005-03:00

So whilst reading Complex Magazine online (which is where I found out about In Spot cards, mentioned in the post below) I also found out about STFree. The site offers, among other things, record keeping of your test results and a Safer Sex Smart Card. Whilst the card cannot confirm if the holder is responsible sex-wise or can't speak to post-test situations, it is an interesting concept that brings focus to an issue we all care about - not sex, but safe sex. Check the vid:

Say it with a card...:S

2009-08-13T14:18:00.006-03:00

So...apparently there are now cards where you can let someone you were intimate with know that you have an STD and they may have contracted it from you. The online joint is called InSpot and while I give them points for innovation, I'd be real upset that the person I gave the goods to - in real time, face to face - fills me in on this interesting development like a punk. Sure, this is something you'd want to know but damn, the internet has made us into a cowardly bunch!

THE CHIC IS BAD!!!

2009-08-12T02:13:00.001-03:00

INDEPENDENTLY FABULOUS

2009-08-12T01:38:00.006-03:00

Now don't get me wrong, I can't stand Ne-Yo's Ms. Independent (she's got her own things, THAT'S why I love her - really now...) - no never that. I'm talking about a woman who can look at bullshit (in the shape of man) right in the eye and say 'get gone'. Believe me, that is not an easy task for even the strongest female - self included. The majority of us have been through a situation where you compromise so much that you lose yourself whilst the undeserving party gets eh-vuh-ree-thing. Well, I've found the holy grail to address the issue of the emotionally unavailable male - Baggage Reclaim. This joint is the TRUTH. I remember when I first read the post How to Spot Emotionally Unavailable Men, I was like 'My God, it's him!!!' lololol. I was quite proud to discover that much of what the author (Natalie) suggests to the women in despair around the world who read her blog is actually how I handled my situation; reading it in black and white just confirmed that I did what I had to do - and best believe, I re-read as often as need be, just to remind myself that life is now so much sweeter now that I'm truly, independently fabulous;) Remember, if a dude ain't adding to your life, he's taking away - word to yo motha!

Fiercely Fabulous!

2009-07-22T12:20:00.016-03:00

Been doing lots of blogging around and found some gut shtuff!

Discovered the UK's Flavour magazine - I may be late to this scene but England's got flava! It was here that I found out about stylist Denise Brown (who has worked with the likes of Kanye, Rihanna)
I was privy to her jaw-dropping styling skills .

I noticed quite a bit of her work was for Touch Magazine out of the UK so I googled it, hoping for more lusciousness - only to find out that it's closed it's doors!

Now how did I make it all the way over to Ole Englun and Flavour Magazine? Well, I was on Afrobella's site getting my daily dose;)

and saw a link to a LOL video. Turns out the guy is up for a Black Tie Comedy Award and you can vote at Flavour Mag~ ahhhhh, how I love the interweb, it can take you some new, exciting places!

Random thought - remember Flava Magazine from Living Single? Now those were some FABULOUS ladies!!!

Je suis gourmande

2009-06-14T20:34:00.009-03:00

That means "I'm greedy." See, everything does sound better in French! And I exaggerate not, I ADORE food, easier to clothe me than feed me;) And a gourmande's dream is new flavours and aromas. That's exactly why I was so enthralled by the Mayan food experience. From mole (dark sauce, pronounced mo-lay) to memela (thick handmade corn tortillas), Mayan food takes your palate to new worlds, introduces you to a new civilzation - you will boldly go where your tastebuds have never gone before. Click here to see the wonders that one Mayan restaurant, Guelaguetza,in Oaxaca (pronounce wuh-hah-kuh) Mexico prepares. Thank me later

blogs, et al

2009-06-13T01:39:00.001-03:00

They're so many of 'em and so many are great! So I figure, why reinvent the wheel;) The new focus is to list some of the best darn blogs out there in natural hair, fashion and random cool stuff. Stay chooned:D

Her Fight to Fabulous

2008-08-06T09:30:00.008-03:00

Dara Torres is not average. She is ultra competitive and uber focused. She is 41, she is a mother, she is an Olympic swimmer. I first read about this athlete on Black Girl in Prague's blog and then went on to read about Torres' life in the NY Times article, A Swimmer of a Certain Age

Dara Torres: (3rd from left) harder, better, faster, stronger, 41

And, of course, she's made it to this year's Beijing Olympics; but that went without saying.

On a more disturbing Olympic note - well two notes actually:

Olympic gold medalist Joey Cheek's visa was revoked because of his stand as a Darfur activist.

And family and loved ones have been scammed out of thousands of dollars for tickets, only to realize the site where purchases were made was fake.

Lord knows if nothing else, these Olympic games are going to be verrrrryyyy interesting...

Melissa Nathan

2008-08-05T12:00:00.008-03:00

I love chick lit. It's easy to read, entertaining and sometimes you can even learn a thing or two - when it's done well. One author who fulfills these criteria is Melissa Nathan. After having exhausted the works of my favorite chick lit author, Sophie Kinsella, I moved on to other British writers and Nathan's books were in a recent batch.

The first book I read by her was The Nanny, the tale of a girl from a small English town who wanted to move out, move on and much to the shock of her parents, study!!! The book is simple but not simplistic, moves at a steady pace and gives you genuine LOLs. It was only after reading two other books by the author - Learning Curve, and Persuading Annie - that I discovered, by way of the introductory first page of the novel, that Melissa Nathan is no longer with us.

It was around age 29, whilst writing The Nanny, that she discovered she had breast cancer; 8 years later in 2006, two months after finishing The Learning Curve, she died at age 37.

After reading that, all I could do was stare at the fresh, peaceful face that graces the inside covers of her books. 'Struck' is an accurate description of what I felt. To think that her talent was stalled seemed so unfair; but luckily the story doesn't end on this sad note.

There is an award, named in her honour, for comedy romance literature; this ensures that the works of similar authors have a chance for recognition and that Melissa Nathan's are not forgotten.

Stop - spoiler time! (Sex and the City)

2008-07-30T10:07:00.009-03:00

I'm no Sex and the City fan. Sure I've seen one or two episodes, and whilst they were quite engaging, I never became part of the cult following. However, I recently watched the film and thoroughly enjoyed it. The themes that each character dealt with were well scripted and resolved - all except Carrie's. Or, so I thought initially.

Now, from reading other blogs, I know there is no grey area to one's reaction to Carrie and Big's fairytale ending - you either love it or you don't; but I, of course, have found a grey area.

Hell to the no, I would not, WOULD NOT take a second look at a man who had left me at the altar. No matter how much he loved me or I loved him. Then I thought of Carrie Bradshaw - 40, single, been there and done that, had lots of relationships and all of them seemed to pale (or shrink) in comparison to Big. So, if I were Carrie Bradshaw, I probably would have married Big in the end too. Her search for happiness culminated with him. It's not like she hadn't tried other things and people - she had, and it always came back to the same place and person - the Big Apple;)

Samantha, in all her sex obsessed glory, truly gave the monogamous life a good go; but it just goes to show the old saying is true - you can take the girl outta New York...She is who she is, and she isn't the stay at home type.

I must also say that this is the first time I've ever felt sorry for a cheating partner. Steve was so torn and felt so small compared to Miranda's other priorities and personality that he was led astray by his pants. But, again, when you have found someone who is worth the effort, after having looked for so long, can you really just let that all go? As Carrie said when in the taxi with Miranda, it doesn't matter the circumstance, forgiveness is just that - FORGIVENESS.

And Charlotte - she is so funny. 'I curse the day you were born!' is her idea of a great punch line, so great, in fact, that it induces labor and helps the movie progress to its Hollywood finish.

Speaking of fashion...

2008-07-28T13:19:00.010-03:00

As you may have guessed by my disdain for D&G's lamb offering, I am no fashionista. I like what I like because I like it, not because of the tag that grazes the back of my neck.

That said, I must admit, I do appreciate those who know fashion; and one lady who fits the bill is Elsa Klensch.

When I was still in the early double digits (read 10,11), Style With Elsa Klensch was the program of choice for me while munching on Sunday morning breakfast. Or was it Saturday? I digress...

The lady's smooth, vocal tones and presentation style led me to appreciate the designs of Lacroix and Valentino, to the point where I knew I was going to be a fashion designer - and had the designs and scrapbook to prove it.

Needless to say, things have changed quite a bit since those innocent, heady times. I've become a realist, know I won't design (commercially at least) but still have great respect for Klensch; and, thanks to the all-knowing, all-seeing wikipedia (and Elsa's own website, the link of which is to the left under 'Post Links'), I now know more about her too!

Things I didn't know about Elsa Klensch:

- I'd forgotten her surname had an S lol.
- She is Australian born (!!)
- Style with Elsa Klensch ran on CNN for 20 YEARS!!!! (1980 to 2000)

Klensch is also an author of fashion-focused murder mysteries, the third of which was published just last year.

Her theme isn't too surprising, though - fashion is a killer;)

Does this hair make me look hot??

2008-07-13T12:10:00.013-03:00

We all love trying new styles - but we all want to do it without the spiralling guilt, doubt or disgust that sometimes follows. So, to help us out there are 'try a hairstyle' links on LHJ (Ladies Home Journal) and Marie Claire. Yes, yes you have to sign up and no, no all the styles you see aren't available - but it's still hella fun! Plus, it gives you an idea of what styles and tints suit your face and personality - and if you're not sure yourself, you can email it to a friend;)

The marie claire and LHJ virtual styles are listed under the 'look fabulous' links to the right - enjoy!

Black is the new...Black???

2008-07-08T12:12:00.005-03:00

So Black is now, literally, in Vogue but that sure doesn't mean it's en vogue. Supermodel Iman was quoted in NY Magazine back in May, speaking about the great hurrah following the announcement of an all-Black model cover of Italian Vogue:

" "I still don't like us (black models) to be a caricature...They'll think, 'Okay, we did it.' And then they're done with it, and we'll have to wait till next year." She added that in 2007 black models were "nonexistent" and she felt the fashion and beauty industries are out of touch. "When you see commercials and movies and every other form of art in terms of entertainment, you never have this conversation," she said. "So it is so outdated." She continued, "I can only say that one of the reasons is that models have never had unions, so there is no one to say, 'This isn't right." "

Well said & Nuff said.

Go on, girl!

2008-07-08T10:42:00.003-03:00

The younger Williams tennis star is looking SO fly in this month's edition of Ebony. Makes you feel muscularly inadequate, but fly none the less! Although Venus is the more dominant on the court (adding another title to her list, having beaten her sibling recently at Wimbledon), Serena definitely wins popular vote - can't you see why;)

Speaking of Wimbledon, SERIOUS props go out to Nadal for his win. That guy earned every bit of that title after 5 gut-wrenching sets interrupted by rain and affected by wind that visually whipped the garments of both him and Federer - go on, boy!

(Reuters)

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly

2008-07-03T08:07:00.010-03:00

When next you feel there is an insurmountable obstacle, think of Jean-Dominique Bauby. At age 43, the Elle magazine editor-in-chief suffered a stroke and went into a coma. 20 days later, on December 28, 1995, he awoke to find himself paralyzed except for some movement of his head and left eye. Malgre tout he went on to write his memoir (which has also been made into a film) Le Scaphandre et le Papillon (the diving bell and the butterfly) with the help of a transcriber, using his blinks to indicate the desired alphabet letters. The book became a number one bestseller and luckily, Bauby lived to see its release in March of 1997; he died ten days later.

Brick Lane is another literary work that has recently made its cinematic debut. Whilst not a biography, it certainly has drawn its own attention - but not of the welcomed kind.

The actual Brick Lane in London is also known as Banglatown, for its strong Bangladeshi presence. Many of the persons there took umbrage to the book, saying that it set them in a negative light. Though shrouded in controversy, the movie was released earlier this year.

I read, and enjoyed, the novel; but considering that what I know about the people and beliefs illustrated is based on the book alone, I can understand why the community would show distaste for any misrepresentation. Like me, other readers may have the book as the only source of knowledge about this segment of the population and be left with an incorrect impression of the community of Brick Lane.

Game Fabulous

2008-07-01T14:11:00.007-03:00

Okay, not the kind of games which require alot of hand-eye coordination a la Nintendo and its varied offspring, I'm talking about ones that you can find on RealArcade or PopCap or even the Lifetime site (yes, I said Lifetime - don't knock it 'till you've played Open House or RSVP - YOU TRY seating disgruntled dinner guests together!)

I love ones with a story line and ultimate goal like Chocolatier or even Wedding Dash and don't even get me started on word games...

Nothing like passing free time whilst expanding your mind - which reminds me, if you prefer activities with a more serious gist, try www.ilike2learn.com . Betcha can't try it just once;)

Guilty Pleasure

2008-06-30T22:10:00.009-03:00

It's the kind of song you play with the headphones on, volume up and pray that no one trips over the cord and sends your private delight into public domain. It's Jackie Moon's (a.k.a Will Ferrell, LOVE this guy's talent!!!) Love Me Sexy. He hit the cheesy disco nail on the head with this track from the flick Semi Pro. The song is so convincing, the backup girls so on point, a little crackling record simulation and you'd be convinced this piece was straight outta the 70s. The lyrics leave your mouth agape and eyes watering - and the whispering! Now I can dig that! Take it away, Jackayyyyyyyy!!!

genesis

2008-06-30T16:51:00.002-03:00

It occurred to me today that we're always striving for something. Once that goal is achieved, it is replaced by another - just as pressing, just as vital. We are forever reaching for something better to make our lives easier. Case in point, a friend of mine is looking to move from Europe to Canada (and I'm sure there are quite a few North Americans who would eagerly switch places with her!). I always ask myself why it is that where we are - or where we're from - never seems to quite 'fit' our needs. Perhaps the answer is this simple - we need to move to grow.

Getting back to the aforementioned friend, she is determined to make Canada her next (and hopefully, final) stop and that's when it hit me - she's fighting for fabulous, for her ideal, for where she envisions herself to be comfortable, happy, at peace...

We all struggle to find fabulous, and our varied versions of it. My version includes a comfortable salary, working abroad and Louboutin shoes. Oh, and lovely company (if in the form of a gorgeous, male intellect, that never hurt either!). So that's what this is all about, the fight to reach 'fabulous' whatever that may be, via blogs of persons abroad and the other simple things that make us feel fabulous - a great body, great hair, great food and a beautiful mind:)